


Never Have I Forgotten

by NotMarie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Goblin inspired, Grim reaper!Jihoon, Implied Character Death, M/M, Past Lives, SOONHOON FOREVER, concept of reincarnation, slight angst, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 10:03:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10534206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotMarie/pseuds/NotMarie
Summary: Jihoon chose not to drink the tea of oblivion, it seems like someone did the same.





	

 

_Only one out of about two hundred people can be reincarnated with the same face as their previous life._

 

Jihoon remembers. Never, not once have he forgotten those eyes, smiles, the warm hands. He couldn't forget, but he knew that they can't be together. How many years has it been? A hundred? A thousand? Jihoon wasn't so sure, but the memories of the sins he committed was still fresh in his memory. These sins that brought him this fate, and the face of one he loved so dearly. All the nooks and cranny of that body which Jihoon had loved so much, every mole that adorned various parts of his body, it was all like before. He knows he's already undead, part of the community of sinners whom serves the divine being by guiding people to the afterlife. He knows he is already dead, but his heart beats so fast, as if it was about to burst from his chest-- almost as if he was alive.

But he isn't alive, not anymore. He was clad in black coat and tie, his pale complexion can compare to that of the dead, his hands cold as ice. He wore this black hat that kept him invisible to the eyes of the mortals, that's why he was shocked when this boy stood in front of him and stared into his eyes. Aside from the fact that the boy can see him, he was frozen when he saw how oddly familiar the boy looks like. The boy didn't show any sign of fear, instead he flashed a wide grin. The boy extends his hand and looks up to him.

"Hello! My name is Hoshi. Can you be my friend?"

Jihoon knew who the boy was, and he knew what misfortunes their meeting may bring. Instead of shaking his hands, Jihoon stared into Hoshi's eyes and made him forget that they ever meet. With a heavy heart, Jihoon walks away from the kid, walking to the location of where his next client will be.

Jihoon watched Hoshi from a distance. He kept him safe from any possible danger, but of course, he had to conceal himself. After a couple of months, Jihoon walks in front of the boy's house only to see large trucks of movers packing up the furnitures. Jihoon heaves a sigh. He clutched unto his chest, a tear fell from his eye. He admits to himself that this may be the last time he'd see his lover in this life, and it was more than enough. He thanked the gods for this opportunity before he wipes away his tear and smiled.

 

 

Among all grim reapers, Jihoon was indeed odd. He'd sent off more than half a million spirit, yet his sin isn't forgiven. Grim reapers aren't allowed to feel emotions, and most have no recollection of their past life or even a name. Most have to struggle in finding homes, but Jihoon easily found one after he became a grim reaper. Rumors have been going around that the man had received both God's blessing and curse. They say he was so gifted at being a grim reaper that maybe the gods won't let him go just yet. (Or maybe he is the one who can't forgive himself.)

Other reapers envied him, but Jihoon pitied himself the most. He feels like the most pathetic of his kind un this world. He is bound to remember the sins he did, the blood on his hands, and his lover's face. Every night, Jihoon crawled unto his bed, clutching his chest as he cried himself to sleep in an attempt to comfort himself. He was never sure of when his agony will end, but he was sure of one thing-- he was sure that he didn't want to erase his memories, and that he never regretted not drinking the tea of oblivion. For Jihoon, it may be painful, but what is love without pain? It is his way of remembering and punishment himself, it was his apology.

 

 

Jihoon sat inside a coffee shop during his break. He grabs a book and sips from the cup of coffee. He was enjoying the peace and quiet during his break time when he saw someone sat across him. The man wipes the sweat that formed on his forehead and lets out a deep breath. Jihoon peeks from the book and was shocked at the sight of the man. The man in front of him waved his hand and smiled.

"Hello! It's you again! Do you remember me? I'm still young when we last saw each other."

Jihoon swallowed his spit, sweat now forming on his forehead. How is it possible? Jihoon was a hundred percent sure that he made the child forget. He puts the book down, pushes the middle of the glasses he wore up the bridge of his nose and asks, "You remember me?"  
The boy, now an adult, shows his eyesmile. "Of course I know you," Jihoon's heart beats faster. Could it be possible that the reincarnation of his lover is nit affected by hypnosis? The boy continues his sentence. " _I missed you, Jihoon-ah._ "

Upon hearing his name, he looks at the man's face and couldn't hold it in. He covered his mouth to prevent the sound of his sobs, tears started falling one after another. The man, Hoshi, stood up and hugged Jihoon's tiny stature.

"Aigoo, Jihoonie is now a crybaby? How long was I gone, huh?" He pulls away from the hug and wiped Jihoon's tears. "H-how?" Was all Jihoon could say. "I didn't drink it, the tea, I mean. I'd rather be tormented than to forget all of our memories together." Jihoon held Hoshi's hand that touched his face and spoke. "Don't touch me, I-I don't deserve you. Y-you should be happy in this life, Soonyoung. Please, just forget about me."

Jihoon stood up and left. Hoshi slightly shook his head, tears threatening to fall, his lips formed a pout. "Jihoonie, you're still a meanie."

However, Hoshi didn't give up. Everyday, he'd go to the coffee shop where he last saw Jihoon. He'd watch him from a distance and he'd smiled. Of course, Jihoon knew it, and he was happy. He was happy, but he knew he shouldn't be. He is here to be punished for his sin, not to be happy and all. One day, he sat across his seat and confronts Hoshi.

"Would you please stop doing that? It's kinda annoying me."

Hoshi, instead of being pissed off, let's out a small smile. The grim reaper gives him a questioning look. "Jihoonie, isn't this scenario familiar?"

As if on cue, the said memory flashed in Jihoon's mind.

 

  
_Two kids around the age of 6 were left in the room where they study, but instead of studying, one of them is just staring at the other. The younger of the two couldn't take it and speaks._

_"Excuse me, would you please stop doing that? It's annoying, you know."_

_The other just smiled. "That's no way to speak to a prince, boy."_

_The younger furrowed his brows, "Well, I believe a prince doesn't have the right to stare at anyone. It's rude y'know."_

_The prince smiles and extends his hand. "I'm sorry, that is indeed rude. I'm Soonyoung, will you marry me?"_

_Jihoon was shocked, confusion was evident in his face. "but my mother said you can't marry just anyone you don't love, and that marriage is for a boy and a girl."_

_Soonyoung shook his head, "But I love you! Isn't that enough? What's your name, my future spouse?"_

_Jihoon's face was pink, was it from the cold or from the embarrassment? He's not so sure, but he accepts Soonyoung's hand and answers. "My name is Lee Jihoon. Don't get me wrong, I'm not marrying you."_

 

Jihoon smiled upon remembering the memory but frowns afterwards. He shouldn't be happy, he believes he doesn't deserve to be happy ever since he committed that sin. Hoshi was the change in Jihoon's mood and holds Jihoon's small hands. Jihoon pried his hand from Hoshi's grasp and turns his back on Soonyoung.

"This is my last warning. I'd only bring misfortune to your life, so please just forget me."

And Jihoon left.

 

 

" _Jihoon-ah! What are you going to be?!" Shocked was evident with Soonyoung's voice._

_"Lower your voice! They might hear you, Soonyoung." He covers Soonyoung's mouth with his hand. They now hid in this secret room in the castle, the one they discovered when they were running around the place when they were eight. It was small, just about the size of two closets combined, but it was big enough for them. Now, Jihoon is almost 20 and so is Soonyoung._

_Soonyoung licks a stripe on Jihoon's hand, causing the man to remove his hand._

_"Ugh, are you really a prince? Where are your manners?" Jihoon asks in a mocking tone. Soonyoung brings his hand to his chin. "I was asking the same question, my warrior. I believe I'm more suited to be a court dancer or musician, don't you think so too?"_

_Jihoon smirks. "Dream on." Which was a lie. He knew how good Soonyoung was with dancing, and that he was also skilled with playing instruments, but being a prince, he wasn't given much privilege. He spent most of his times studying. At times, Jihoon, who is now a warrior, would come with him when he snuck out and fought just for fun._

_Soonyoung pouted at Jihoon's remark. "You're such a meanie, Jihoonie." Jihoon just smiled and ruffled Soonyoung's hair. Soonyoung laid down and rested his head on Jihoon's lap. Jihoon continued to brush Soonyoung's hair with his hand. Soonyoung breaks the silence._

_"Stay safe there, Jihoonie. I wished you weren't assigned to guard my brother, I wish you'd guard me instead."_

_Sadness was heard in Soonyoung's voice. Jihoon lets out a small smile and leaves a peck on Soonyoung's forehead. "Take care of your self, okay?" To which Soonyoung replies with a soft, passionate kiss._

_Soonyoung wonders, is marriage really just for a boy and a girl? Is love only for a boy and a girl? Because at that time, he was very certain that his love for Jihoon is true. He hoped that his father would understand or that Jihoon's father would understand, but for now, they'll settle with his. They'll settle with each stolen glances, kisses, moments behind the door of this secret room. They love each other, and they're contented with it._

 

  
Hoshi woke up from his dream. The memories of him and Jihoon's youth. He smiles and started preparing for the day ahead of him.

 

  
Jihoon doesn't know how they ended up like this, bodies entangled under the sheets as their clothes were strewn all over the room, but he remembers seeing a drunk Hoshi walking outside of a club as a girl trailed behind him. Jihoon was furious. He was now giving Soonyoung a very torrid kiss, to which the man replied with a moan. His hand traveled along Hoshi's torso while the other hand continuously played with his nipples. With every touch, memories of Hoshi's past life flashed in Jihoon's mind. Soonyoung's hand was encircling Jihoon's body, leaving occasional scratches. Jihoon was mad, and Soonyoung couldn't be happier.

It wasn't planned, and he didn't even danced with the girl when he drank in the club, she just followed him. At least Soonyoung knew that Jihoon was jealous. He has been scared that Jihoon lost his love for him, but it turns out he was wrong.

Soonyoung was now on his knees and elbows as Jihoon preps his entrance. He applies more lube on his fingers and inserts three fingers at once. Soonyoung could feel his tears welling at the corner of his eyes, but he was too distracted, Jihoon was making him feel so good. Jihoon gives him a light spank and Soonyoung moans.

"You're still the same, huh. You still like being punished by me." And Jihoon gives him another spank, his fingers in Soonyoung's ass moving in a steady pace. Soonyoung reaches for his erect member, but Jihoon slaps his hand away.  
"Soonie, no touching, remember?"  
Soonyoung burried his face on the pillow in front of him. "Hoonie, please. . . I can't, ugh."  
Jihoon smirks. "You like this, do you? You like squirming under me as I fuck your ass with my fingers. Do you remember?" Jihoon spanks him one more time and fastens the movement of his fingers. "Do you remember? You were quite a moaner back then." Another spank. "Whenever we'd make love in that secret room, I'd pound into you while covering your mouth, we were scared of being caught." Jihoon stops and removes his fingers. Soonyoung whines at the sudden feeling if emptiness. "But now, it's alright, you can moan all you want, I want everyone to hear how much of a slut you are for me."   
Soonyoung felt Jihoon's dick enter his hole. He lets out a groan, his back forming a beautiful arch. "Moan my name, my prince." He starts thrusting into Soonyoung.

Soonyoung comes untouched as he moaned Jihoon's name repeatedly. After Jihoon comes, he collapses on top of Soonyoung, the last words he hears were, "I love you, Hoonie."

Jihoon wakes up, he tries to sit up and start picking up his clothes, but this arms around him won't let him leave. With tears falling from his eyes, he pried himself from the warm hug, only to be pulled closer to the man's chest.

" _Stay_."

Jihoon burried his face onto Soonyoung's chest. "I can't."

"Why?" Soonyoung asks with a shaky voice.

"Because just like before, I'd only hurt you."

He kissed Hoshi on the lips, and the memory of his sin returned.

 

_Soonyoung was dragged to the center of his brother's room, who was now the king. There he saw Jihoon as he knelt on one knee and bowed to the king._

_"Jihoon, you vowed to serve me, right?"_

_Jihoon responded, "Yes, your highness."_

_The king pointed to Soonyoung. "Then kill that filthy creature."_

_Jihoon turns around to see who it was only to see his lover with an equally shocked face._

_"But your majesty, he is your brother! How could you order such horrendous deed?"_

_The King shows an expression of disgust._

_"Do you think I don't know? A maiden saw you two making out by the pond! Both of you, you disgust me!"_

_Jihoon stands up._

_"Your majesty, just kill me instead. Your brother had nothing to do with it."  
Soonyoung stood up and pried himself from the grasp of the guards. He then runs and stood by Jihoon and held his hand._

_"Don't you dare touch this warrior, kill me instead."_

_The king's laughter resounded in the room. Both Jihoon and Soonyoung were too tensed to move._

_"My warrior, you vowed to serve me, right? Kill that filthy creature. It is my royal decree."_

_Jihoon's eyes widened in shock. But Soonyoung held his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. Soonyoung gets the sword from Jihoon and points it to his chest. He grabs Jihoon's hands and made him hold the hilt of the sword._

_"It's alright, Jihoon. I'll be fine." Unlike before, Soonyoung shed no tear, and Jihoon was a crying mess. He lets go of the sword and walks a step back. He can't do it. Unfortunately, the king walked towards them, grabbed the sword and thrusted it unto Soonyoung's chest. He started coughing up blood. It was what he considered his first grave sin, he watched his lover die without trying to stop it; he killed him._

_Jihoon ran to where Soonyoung knelt and hugged him. With his remaining strength, Soonyoung plants a kiss on Jihoon's forehead as he held his face. Jihoon screamed, he cried. Was it right for Soonyoung to die just because he loved a man? If that's the case, then he too deserves to die, right? He takes the dagger hidden in his boots and stabs it straight to his heart. It was the last Soonyoung saw before everything turned black._

 

 

  
Both of them are now crying upon seeing their memories. Jihoon lightly puched Soonyoung's chest. "I-It was my fault, Soonyoung. You died because of me." Soonyoung hugged him tighter. "Shh. . . Don't cry, Hoonie. We both know it isn't your fault, it was the cruel world that killed us both. You may have become a grim reaper for thrusting that dagger into your chest, but i-it was because the world was too cruel for two man loving each other. It isn't your fault, my dear."

Their sobs died down, and all that was heard was the steady breathing of the two.

"Maybe this life is less cruel, maybe we'll have our chance here, Jihoon-ah. Maybe we can live happily here, right?" Soonyoung said as he held his sob. Jihoon sat straight and stared at Soonyoung with such loving eyes.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but this lifetime must be spent for my repentance. And it is true, bad things may come unto you if you kept tailing me. I don't want you to die because of me, Soonie." He plants a soft kiss on Soonyoung's forehead. "When I'm reborn, let's meet again. Maybe by that time, the gods will be in our favor and they'd let us grow old together, happily. But for now, please don't come to me ever again," Jihoon smiled before he stood up and started wearing his clothes. He closes the door of Hoshi's apartment before he lets himself fall on the ground as he cried.

 

 

 

  
"Hyung, here's your last card. After that, you're free." Kim, tall, tan, and handsome. He has been working under Jihoon for quite some time now. He holds back his sob. "I'll miss you, hyung."  
Jihoon pats the man's shoulders. "Then finish yours as soon as possible." Jihoon smiles. He then enters the tea room. He brews another cup of tea when he hears the chime followed by the sound of the door opening. He turns around, "Please take a --" Jihoon was shocked by the sight of this familiar man. His hair now gray, his back now slouching, still Jihoon can see Soonyoung. The man grins. "I'm sorry, Hoonie. I guess I'm getting forgetful, I forgot that you told me to never see you again. Aigoo, I'm getting old."

Jihoon just stood there frozen. Unable to muster a word. Soonyoung spreads his arm, inviting Jihoon for a hug. Jihoon lets his tears fall down, he then walks to his lover and enveloped him in a warm hug.

" _I missed you too, Jihoon."_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Another lame story by yours truly
> 
> Seriously though, I love soonhoon so much but why do I keep doing this?! 
> 
> At least they had a happy(?) ending in this one. Lol
> 
> AND SMILE FLOWER M/V I'm crying the boys are so hardworking
> 
> Oh and while writing this, I was wondering if there are boys who read soonhoon fics. Do they squeals like girls too?
> 
> Okay sorry for my randomness, I shall shut up.


End file.
